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Dear my amazing friends of color …

By on Jul 12, 2016 in Life, Politics

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Dear my amazing friends of color,

I’m sorry for my social media silence. I have been pretty vocal in person but that is not enough.

I am horrified. I want to apologize to every person of color, especially black man, I see.

I close my eyes and all I can see is Philando Castile bleeding to death in his car with a gun pointed at him and hear his stepdaughter crying and sirens – but apparently not fucking ambulance sirens – in the background.

I am so sorry. What else can I say? Everything feels empty.

I vote. I notice and get angry when 90% of the people I see pulled over are not white. I wrestle with the small parts I can imagine of living in fear that your partner, son, father will be killed for fucking being alive.

But it isn’t enough. It will never be enough.

Especially when I feel myself pulling away from a black man asking me for money on the street.

I am ashamed. Constantly. Because I do not get to escape the racism we all live in – it is inside me and everyone.

I try to notice and correct myself. I try to speak out. I try.

But it will never be enough and I’m sorry. I am so so sorry.

But I will keep trying.

Always.

For you.

Black lives matter.


photo credit: With a Mind for Political Action via photopin (license)

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