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On eating alone.

By on Jul 18, 2016 in Life

I have so many mixed feelings about eating alone these days. When I was younger, willingness to eat alone or see movies alone or go to a bar alone felt like a badass badge of honor. And I collected those. But now that I’m separated, eating alone feels sad. It’s a poignant reminder that I was left. This wasn’t my choice. Because, you see, I love eating out. I love being served a meal. I am respectful and I tip well, but there is something delicious about eating in a restaurant. And I don’t mean high falutin’ fancy restaurants. Diners are just fine by me. Or the Chinese restaurant and take out place I’m at now. There are so many troupes about eating alone. I used to entertain myself when eating or drinking alone — journaling, reading … Or, you know, writing this blog post. But I find myself just wanting to sit and take everything in. It...

Patience

By on Feb 25, 2014 in Life

At 31, I may be learning patience. 31 years is a long time to live feeling constantly on edge, ready to move, terrified of falling …. I have a brain injury. My brain is injured. Traumatically. I have a traumatic brain injury. It sounds too intense and severe and yet ‘concussion’ sounds like something that you get over in a week like the flu. Neither really captures the subtle things. The instant fight or flight response at any sign of stress. The weird head tingling that a book says is a type of headache. The inability to remember little things – words, what I was saying, where the fuck I put my purple hoodie coat from Brooklyn Industries. I’ve even misplaced my book ON concussions. Oh irony … you saucy minx. All the books … well the ones written by people who have actually studied mild traumatic brain inuries say the same thing: rest, do what...